4 Misconceptions of Being An Only Child
For the last 28 years, I’ve been an only child. Therefore, I’ve heard many stereotypes and misconceptions.
“Wow you’re so fortunate to receive all the attention from your parents!” or
“Ah, you must be lonely to not have siblings, poor you.”
Those two represent the most frequent expression I’ve got every time I tell people my condition.
But I’m saying no to both cases. And before sharing more about the stereotypes, I have to inform you that just like any firstborn and youngest child, an only child in any family is different.
1. “An only child receives all the attention.”
For starters, both of my parents were working full-time during my childhood days. I remember vaguely I was always at home with my house helper and sometimes my late grandma would come over to help. I did have the attention, but not because I’m the only child, but for being the first grandchild. Nonetheless, I think I’ve enjoyed the proper amount of attention, not too much nor too little, which brings us to the second misconception.
2. “An only child is spoiled.”
Usually, I respond to most of the comments with a smile, or if I’m in the mood, explain the misunderstanding. However, I don’t like the assumption of “a spoiled only child.” Since I could barely remember, my parents have taught me to earn the non-primary things that I want. Mobile phone, for instance, I first bought with my own money after saving up for years in fifth grade. And it happened every time I have wanted a new phone, until recently. After years of purchasing phones myself, my parents finally gave me a notebook in high school, just because we compromised to change my major according to my mother’s wish. So much for being spoiled.
3. “An only child is selfish.”
I would argue that spoiled and selfish are two different things. While I was raised to earn what I want, I was never really got the chance to willingly share things or give in for my non-existent siblings. So, when in grade school I experienced the result of being the only child. I’ve never given in, and I didn’t react well to losing. It was so severe to the point I was bullied for that very reason. While the selfishness is getting much less over the years, the thought of giving in for someone else still bothers me and for sharing things, I become a territorial person. And I don’t think I want to change that 😉.
4. “An only child can’t do anything alone.”
This is by far the most shocking (and annoying) statement I have ever heard since I’m being an only child. It’s quite the opposite. The amount of time I have to spend alone may be unimaginable for others who have siblings. For my early days, I’ve learned to go home alone from school, manage my own money, and even making my own decisions. I can’t be dependent on my parents because they were working full-time. My friends too, had their boundaries when I rely on them. Of course, sometimes I want to be spoiled and rely on someone, but all the flawed decisions and disappointments made me feel more comfortable doing things alone and not depending on anyone.
While many only children may relate to this story, this is my personal experience and not representing anyone else but me. Being an only child has its fun part, for example, I gain a creative and kind of wild imagination because I’ve played with dolls a lot when I was a kid. I enjoy my own company now for spending most of my childhood alone (besides when playing with friends). The downside is, the difficulty to communicate with others the downside is, I have a hard time communicating with strangers and am more comfortable hanging out with close friends. It becomes my weakness that often troublesome when growing up.
This is my story, what’s yours?